What is something that your mother has done that is unforgivable?
你妈妈做过什么不可原谅的事?
This is somewhat painful to talk about. But I never even thought about it in the context of this question until right now: I now see that I have never forgiven my mother for this! I never realized that I needed to. Wow. This is difficult.
这说起来有点痛苦。但我从来没有在这个问题的背景下想过这个问题，直到现在:我现在明白了，我从来没有原谅过我的母亲!我从来没有意识到我需要这么做。哇。这是很困难的。
My younger sister and I were one year apart. Out of five children, we were the youngest two. When I was 12 and she 11, she developed a slight limp on her left leg. I asked her about it. She didn’t know why, but it did not hurt. But the limp only increased: little by little. I told my mother about it and Pamela should go to the doctor. She shunted me aside and told me not to worry about it.
我妹妹和我相隔一岁。在五个孩子中，我们是最小的两个。当我12岁，她11岁的时候，她的左腿有点跛。我问了她这件事。她不知道为什么，但一点也不疼。但这种跛行只会越来越严重:一点一点地。我把这件事告诉了妈妈，帕梅拉应该去看医生。她把我推到一边，告诉我不要担心。
Probably six months later, her limp was severe. It was at her hip, and she had to swivel her thigh around her hip to be able to walk. I got angry at my mother and insisted, demanded that she go to the doctor! After a delay of a few more weeks, my parents took her for an exam.
大概六个月后，她的跛足严重。问题在她的臀部，她必须把大腿绕着臀部旋转才能走路。我对妈妈很生气，坚持要求她去看医生!又耽搁了几周之后，我父母带她去参加了一次检查。
They scheduled her for a biopsy. It was a large tumor. They performed the operation a week later. My mother told me that they couldn’t get it all. And it was cancer. I yelled at my mother in total shock and pain myself, She can die!
他们为她安排了活组织检查。这是一个很大的肿瘤。一周后他们做了手术。我母亲告诉我，他们不可能治好。那就是癌症。我对妈妈大吼，我自己也完全震惊和痛苦，她会死的!
My mother denied it, but forbid me to talk to Pamela about it. She slept on the couch downstairs. After a few months, Pamela was screaming and crying in pain most every night. The last month she screamed every night that she wanted to die. Finally she did. I had just turned 13 and she would have turned 12 in three weeks.
我母亲否认了，但禁止我和帕梅拉谈论这件事。她睡在楼下的沙发上。几个月后，帕梅拉每天晚上都在痛苦地尖叫和哭泣。最后一个月，她每天晚上都大喊她想死。最后,她做到了。那时我刚满13岁，而她再过三个星期就满12岁了。
Not realizing it until answering this question, I have always harbored anger at my mother for not taking her to the doctor when I told her to: but why would it take a child to tell her to? Couldn’t she see Pamela’s limp? Shouldn’t they have taken her to the doctor even before I saw the need to?
直到回答了这个问题，我才意识到这一点，我总是对妈妈在我告诉她去看医生的时候没有带她去看医生而感到生气：但是为什么要一个孩子去告诉她去呢？难道她看不出帕梅拉的跛足吗？他们不应该在我认为有必要之前就带她去看医生吗？
My mother was not a good mother. She was a terrible home maker. She was self absorbed. She spent most of her time drinking black coffee, smoking cigarettes, while reading dime novels.
我的母亲不是一个好母亲。她是个糟糕的家庭主妇。她只顾自己。她大部分时间都在喝黑咖啡，抽烟，读廉价小说。
And. . . the way I always felt about it, and never verbalized it until right now as I write this . . . My mother killed my little sister through her rotten, selfish neglect! There mother! I said it.
并且……这是我一直以来对它的感觉，直到现在我写这篇文章的时候，我才把它说出来。我母亲因为她那自私的、卑鄙的疏忽而杀死了我的小妹妹！这种妈妈！我说出了这件事。
Years later, as adults, my brother told me that they were worried about me because they knew how close we were. . . and that I never cried, not even at the funeral. Tell’em it’s okay. I am crying right now for the first time. I don’t know why. I’m not ready to forgive my mother! And I am pondering wether to delete this or post it. Oh the hell with it. Maybe my mother will see it…
多年以后，当我长大成人的时候，我哥哥告诉我，他们很担心我，因为他们知道我们是多么亲密……我从未哭过，甚至在葬礼上也没哭过。告诉他们没关系。我第一次哭了。我不知道为什么。我还没准备好原谅我妈妈！我在考虑是删除还是发布它。见鬼去吧。也许我妈妈会看到……
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